Monday, 14 December 2015

Do I have Alzheimer's, or is it something else?

I often dwell  over my short term memory loss, especially now that I'm getting older.  My short term memory isn't the greatest, but you ask me who won super bowl XXV, and I'm all over it!
With all the cases of early onset Alzheimer's, I just can't help but wonder sometimes...
However, in these moments of reverie I'm reminded of this story of my early childhood and I realize this isn't new at all.  This is a problem I've had for a long time, and I recently found a new term for it.
It's called C.R.S.
I wish I could remember what the acronym stood for, but you see, I can't remember shit.


It took some time for my father to realize that there is a slight difference between being mentally challenged and visually impaired.
It wasn't until my first grade teacher brought up my incessant squinting that my father learned the problem was with my vision.  Until then, when it came to handing him the remote, or whatever else he might have asked for, resulted in my being asked what my problem was, what was my mental handy cap? Why can't I find something that's right THERE?

I remember obtaining my first pair of thick LARGE glasses.  In my minds eye, I was unfortunately born with long eye lashes for a guy. Every time I blinked my lashes scraped my glasses, which lead to having to clean them every 5 minutes.  One of those times I must have been distracted by some toys. By the time I realized everything was blurry again, it was too late, I had lost my glasses, and I began frantically searching for them.
I was searching for at least an hour with no avail.
My frantic peregrination yielded no positive results. My stomach began to sink, I felt spineless, but I could not show emotion, I had to stay strong.

I wouldn't dare tell my parents that I lost my glasses. I remember money was always scarce growing up, and the loss of anything of value would always be balanced out with the classic European wooden spoon punishment.

Having already looked everywhere I had been that day, I just could not find them.  I was running out of options, and becoming quite despondent.
I started looking for my glasses in places they would never be.

  • I shone a flashlight in the gaps between the fridge and the stove, my glasses weren't there.
  • I pulled the mattress off my bed and flipped it around, my glasses weren't there.
  • I looked behind the toilet, my glasses weren't there.
  • I looked around in the fridge, pulled up a chair to the freezer that I couldn't have reached without pulling up a chair to it in the first place, my glasses weren't there.
  • I checked under the couch and couch cushions, my glasses weren't there.
  • I decided to go back to my room, they had to be there!  I checked my dresser drawers, and the top of my dresser, my glasses weren't there.

Finally, feeling completely dejected, I opened my closet and began climbing the shelves.
Maybe I climbed these shelves and don't remember that I had somehow left my glasses on the highest point?
Seems a bit ridiculous, but I'm going to try it anyway, because at this point I'm desperate; more to not get the wooden spoon than to actually find my glasses.

As I began climbing, I came to the realization that I'm struggling to use my right hand.
There's something in them,
I just have to put that something down first before I can begin climbing the shelves.
I'll be one step closer to possibly, maybe, but probably not..... finding my glasses.

As I look down to drop the item in my hand that's preventing  my struggled journey, that thing, there in my right hand, was my glasses that I was looking for this entire time.

If you're reading this and you too are concerned with your short term memory loss.  Just remember, it's likely not Alzheimer's.... it's just CRS.

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